I don’t blame you;
For the fact that my childhood wasn’t like anyone else, or that my family dynamic is not what we all thought it would be.
For all the mistakes I made in my life, or how I was unable to fix most of them because i wasn’t exactly given the tools I need because you and dad did most everything for me and I didn’t have to fend for my self when I was a kid.
For feeling alone and feeling as though you could have and should have done better.
I don’t blame you.
I do blame you;
For never listening to me when I told you I had a bad feeling about some of the men you brought around us and yourself.
For never wanting to settle our differences.
For always giving me the cold shoulder when I am simply asking if you are okay.
I blame YOU for giving us the relationship you had with your mom.
I think I need to set a schedule for releasing posts. I have many similar letters I would like to publish. Mostly because they are all stuck in my head and I think its time for some spring cleaning (haha).
I can honestly say that I was blown away about how good it feels to just let things out. There’s beauty in being able to express yourself, in whatever way you can. I think for me writing has always been my secret escape; whether it be a short story I began writing, or keeping a journal, or even diving into a fresh new novel. Something about the written word just takes me away. Even though I love music to very much, nothing takes me away like literature.
So I guess here’s to the newest chapter. Learning to let out and let go.
And as always, if you have made it this far, I like you, I appreciate you.