002. Girls, Girls, Girls

Todays topic stems from a YouTube channel I stumbled upon the other day.

The Next Family is a lifestyle blog based on the life of a lesbian couple, Brandy and Susan, and their 3 adorable children. They touch on some pretty hard-hitting topics and give you raw and honest answers. This channel is such an amazing resource for LGBTQ+ families looking for guidance with anything from keeping the spark alive in your marriage/relationship to how to find the perfect LGBTQ+ friendly schools near you.

I suppose you may be wondering how in the hell I managed to come across a channel with such a powerful message. Truth be told, I am a 23-year-old lesbian trying to plan a future. Although I don’t want to get too far into detail with this (most because it is still new and nothing is quite set in stone, and I want to make a separate blog post about this) I wanted to touch on a few things that encompass this topic.

First off, I want to say thank you for reading this far. If you have, whether you are a member of the LGBTQ+ family like myself, a family member/friend to someone just like me, or even if you’re here looking for ammunition to load your hate guns, thank you for being open-minded enough to read this.

Stigma; a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.
I remember the very first time I witnessed the stigma involving (in my case) lesbian couples. It was grade 9 or 10 (brain fart..) when 2 girls from my classes decided to start a relationship together. This was, as far as we knew, the first time in many years (if ever) that an openly gay/lesbian couple was known at our school. When I first heard the new, I was immediately filled with hope. At this point, I was still closeted and was trying to find the courage to “come out”.It soon became very clear that I would not be able to do so for a long time..

Not long after the 2 girls began dating, they made a terrible name for themselves. They never left much to the imagination; always talking about their sex life far too openly, tonsil hockey in the cafeteria, even sex in the bathrooms at school. They were so far in everyone’s face that it was hard not to think negatively about the situation.

Here’s the thing. I have ALWAYS made it very clear that I will always except someone elses views on things. I would be naive to believe that everyone on this planet should think like I do. The reality of the situation is that yes, I am an openly lesbian woman and I am proud of that. Do I shout it from the rooftops and expect everyone to accept me? NO. The problem with these girls from my highschool was that because they were the first openly lesbian couple, I feel as though they felt that they needed to make a point. That it was a normal things and that everyone needs to respect it. Although this is a great message to spread, they went about it the wrong way. Every single chance they got, they were making out in front of people who found lesbianism strange, they were talking about their sex life to people who thought lesbianism was a sin, and even giving school faculty hell for giving them detention for being caught “doing it” in the public washroom.

Because of all the mayhem, people had awful things to say about anything LGBTQ+. Even the Gay/Straight Alliance we had at school slowly fell apart. I hid my sexuality for almost 5 years after that. The point is, when I was watching the above mentioned YouTube channel, I became to inspired by the confidence they radiated. They were confident in themselves and their relationship and they were giving advice not only to LGBTQ+ families, but to straight families aswell. They are educating a nation far bigger then I think they imagine. My life has most been about suppressing feelings and thoughts, and even though now I am no longer lying to myself and everyone else, I still find myself deflecting questions that could potentially “out me” to new people I meet. I still find myself waiting a very long time to even mention to people about my sexuality, and even delay talking about my amazing partner.

I am left heartbroken thinking that the stigma is still very real. It shatters me that I still feel as though I can not live a truly open life as potential bad situations play out in my head. I hope that one day I can be as open as Brandy and Susan. Their happiness has truly inspired me.

 

I know this post is probably all jumbled, but that’s the beauty of running a life blog; nothing has to make sense to anyone but you!

& as always, if you’re still reading this, I like you, I appreciate you.

-Dani

002. Girls, Girls, Girls

001. Day One On The Alien Planet

“This is going to be great!”  
“I can’t wait to put all my ideas into one cute little blog space!”
“I hope to trigger conversations to better educate myself on pertinent topics!”

In case you were wondering, the above quotes were pulled directly from this noggin of mine preblog. In the months leading up to me actually sitting down and creating this blog, I was swarmed with ideas, hopes, aspirations; you name it. While theses are all still very current, it seems as though the moment when it finally came time to create my first post (after about an hour customizing this page to the best of my abilities), I found myself to have writers block. This situation was silly to me as I had actually written down so many ideas for topics I wanted to blog about, yet aside from the fact that my cat seemed to have eaten the paper, I wasn’t sure on where to even begin.

I find writing to be extremely intimidating. It blows my mind to see people put their thoughts and emotions onto paper(or web pages in this case) as if it were second nature. The words seem to flow so effortlessly and come together to create such a poetic piece. Now, I am not naive enough to believe that even the most gifted author faces no challenges. I realize there is much to the process of writing. Yet I still find myself faced with an incredible amount of anxiety thinking that I need to have 3 dictionaries, 4 thesauruses and 15 encyclopedias with me at all times to ensure I am providing the best content possible. I then remember that if I am able to access the internet to post on here then by default I have access to google on any device I own, which is A LOT easier to lug around (funny joke? no? I tried.)

Anyway, the point to this incredibly long introduction is that I have finally come to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter what topic I start with or how smarticle I sound explaining it. There will always be someone out there that stumbles upon this blog and will find something they dislike about it. Therefor, I strongly believe the best course of action for me is to write from the heart, right from the start! I am hoping to keep the swearing to a minimum and strive to sound at least as smart as a 5th grader. This I do solemnly swear.

I hope you, who ever you are, where ever you may be, will come along on this journey with me. May we laugh, cry, smile and frown all together.

If you’ve made it this far, I like you, I appreciate you. See you soon.

-Dani

001. Day One On The Alien Planet